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Humor blog? My name is Hannah and I'm 25. I'm from the US and my message box is always open :)
Pan/Genderqueer/Hufflepuff/Pronouns are irrelevant to me
Snapchat: hannerz7410
tbh i never got why so many straight women are into legolas. like, what do you think hes going to do? top you? i have to laugh
do you think J R R Tolkien can read these posts from hell
Erin, my very gay wife, was obsessed with lotr and Orlando Bloom- specifically Legolas- when she was growing up. She had posters. She had pencils. She had tshirts. If it had his face on it, she owned it. Three weeks ago, I went home to my parent’s for the first time in a minute. My 16 year old sister was writing letters on lined, green, Legolas paper. I thought it was hysterical bc I give Erin so. much. shit. about loving a dude I think looks like the loveliest of ladies so I took a picture of it and sent it with a text making fun of my sister’s dorky love for Mr. Bloom. It took her a few minutes to respond. When she did, she just sent this:
That’s mine, you asshole. The last time your sisters came to visit, I gave them a bunch of art supplies and Anna wanted it so I gave it to her. You tell her I’m proud of her. And that no matter what you say, he is not. a. gateway. to. lesbianism.
That was last month.
Guess whose sister just called to schedule dinner with her gay sister and her wife so they can meet her new girlfriend?
some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:
- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO
Today a little boy was engaging in “pulling pigtails” behavior, pestering a particular girl. I told her, and the class, that sometimes when little boys like someone they’ll act like jerks just to get their attention. The rest of the class hooted, the boy protested, and the girl grimaced and said she knew, her mother and older brother and old teacher told her.
I continued on to say that just because a boy likes you doesn’t give him an excuse to be a jerk, and you shouldn’t give them a chance to get your attention until they learn how to behave and her face was priceless. Basically, picture a tiny elementary school girl with red bows in her hair embodying the spirit of this gif:
